« Home | entertainment » | March Madness » | entertainment » | Barry, this is all the proof I need. » | sunday mornings » | audio visual » | Wouldn't want to fight this guy. » | some lists. some hilarious lists. » | Fill in the Letter » | Things aren't what they used to be. » 

Sunday, March 19, 2006 

on putty. things to do with it.

*stretch it
*cut it with scissors
*snap it apart
*press it onto jeans
*taste it
*make it into funny shapes and bounce it
*ball it up
*cube it up
*squeeze it
*throw it at Sam's face
*take your fingerprint
*protest the current shape of the putty and then proceed to change the shape of it
*take a profile off a coin with it
*make a bubble and then pop it
*put it back into its egg holster
*cook it into an omlette
*flatten it
*make it your friend
*knead it
*admire the current shape and or texture of it
*use the putty as the inspiration for a list
*re-enact civil war battles with it
*fold it
*name it Baxter
*roll it up into a roll
*even though it doesn't resemble a plane, fly it around making plane noises
*smack it
*get its number and don't call it in the morning
*talk dirty to it
*do other things between consecutive playings with it
*rename it into an adjective like speedy or green
*conduct an experiment to find out if putty ever dries out
*measure the length of it
*question its voting record
*conclude that the buoyancy of it determines on its shape
*after kneading the paper towel remnants stuck onto it after a failed attempt to dry it off, compare it to the blobs on the Ocarina of Time which take your shield away
*if putty is of the glitter variety, attempt to extract the valuable glitter
*cheat on it
*rename it into an adverb like rapidly
*observe how well it demonstrates entropy
*oppress it
*take advantage of it when it's compromised
*pick it last for dodgeball
*punish it by subjecting it to a week straight of christmas music
*explain to it where putty comes from
*explain the reasons as to why it is not responsible enough to own a dog
*explain to it the defects of title ix
*cheer proudly when putty hits its first home run
*be jealous of its popuarity and association with hot girls
*give putty an overbearing 10:00 curfew
*get mad at it for not doing the dishes
*withhold sex from it as punishment for it stumbling in late last night
*pinch it
*dismiss its rebelliousness as just a phase

guest contributors: Sam and Zach

and of course, putty.

You could mix it with peanut butter and feed it to the dogs.

They wouldn't shit for a week.

And when they did 'Whoa Nellie'!

Canine canon.

Fido fusilade.

Bowser broadside.

Guest contributors sam and zach? or Zam and sach?

How about: off putty. things to not do with it.

I move that the last comment be striken from the record, but on the grounds that it's most likely mom, and she will read this, this comment is hereby striken from the record.

how do you know it was mom? it's signed anonymous.

mom, on the other hand, is amomynous.

Post a Comment

Spread The Word

Add to Technorati Favorites